LoveTalk: Dear DUDES

As a guy, there’s a kind of attack that I really do not appreciate. It’s an attack that a lot of dudes use when it comes to pursuing women. It’s called the “Torpedo Attack” or the “Torpe Attack.”, other people call this the “Sigurista Style”.

Basically, Guy like Girl, so he is all sweet to the Girl, giving her nice text messages, buys her chocolates, gives her the special treatment, and makes her think that he’s interested, if Girl shows that she is interested, Guy doubles the efforts but never tells Girl how he really feels.

Girl, on the other hand, is confused. “Does he like me? Does he treat other girls the same way? Is he courting me?” So Girl asks Guy, but because Guy is sigurista, Guy will NEVER admit how he feels. In his mind, he thinks “Doesn’t she think it’s obvious? Aren’t my actions enough? Is she stupid?”

To this Guy, I would say

“Bro, she’s not stupid. She’s a woman who deserves to be pursued rightly, whose heart deserves to be honored, and you are being a coward. If she shows interest, then you will subtly force her to make the decision so that you’ll be a couple, and if she doesn’t show interest, you’ll back off and drop her like a hot potato so that technically, you never got busted because you never really officially court her. Bro, that’s being a coward, plain and simple. I get that it’s scary. It’s difficult. Putting your heart and ego on the line, risking getting hurt – these are all part of the process of courtship. If you’re not man enough to risk getting hurt, you have no business courting anyone.”

Now let’s take a step back. Some guys aren’t sure of their feelings yet. I get that. You have a lady friend and you don’t know if you like her. Okay, that’s fair. You wanna get to know her more. That’s fair. But because you want to know how you feel about her, hang out in group dates. Don’t date her exclusive for several weeks/ months, leading her on by INTENTIONALLY being sweet, and then decide that you’re not interested after all. Get to know her in safe settings. Once you are already SURE about how you feel, don’t play with her emotions. Don’t confuse her. Instead, HONOR her with the truth! If I had a daughter and you use a “Torpedo Attack” on her, I will guarantee you that I will give you another kind of “attack.”

When it comes to courtship, bros, remember this: Actions do NOT speak louder than words. Rather, Actions merely give form/ proof for the Words that you should have already said. In other words, Actions FOLLOW Words.