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Tangled Thoughts

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Trying to keep my mind off the election results, I visited one of drawers where I keep my sewing notions. What I saw was a clutter of snaps, collar stays, needles in all sizes, threads in all colors, pins, marking pens, elastic, seam rippers—name it, I have them all in an unsorted heap.

Now working from home, I no longer have the zest to use these once-loved thingies. They used to be my change-of-pace buddies. I would add buttons on blazers, re-hem skirts, embroider jeans and blouses, crochet trimmings for pockets and sleeves, etc. But I have no need for decent clothes anymore. Old t-shirts and frayed shorts have taken over me.

I stared at the tangled yarns, which reflected my tangled thoughts.

It’s been four days after the elections, and the candidates I passionately campaigned for, will not make it. There are rumors of massive cheating and the numbers do not match statisticians’ figures. Despite the mammoth rallies, the awakening of the youth, and creativity shown all through the campaign from all sectors, “defeat” seems a foregone conclusion.

What happened? This is a question in many people’s mind—expressed online. The answers are too complex to unravel.

My mom, who taught me how to sew, once said while we were untangling threads, “Actually, worse tangles happen in our minds.”

Just a couple of hours after the polling places closed on May 9, the election returns were shown at breakneck speed on TV, auguring a landslide loss for VP Leni and her team.

I am quite proficient in—and enjoy—untangling threads, but not my thoughts these days.

Mental knots have been all over social media as posted by kakampinks (allies in the campaign). One of them uploaded his self-portrait in one unbroken line. I attempted doodling in an unbroken line as well to echo my own thoughts.

That’s me, all tangled up, but struggling to smile—perhaps to never let go of hope that was symbolized by the PINK color of our campaign.

We are the sole listeners of our thoughts, both positive and negative, that power our emotions. I read somewhere that indeed, the most complex tangles happen in our brain. That’s why it is difficult to unknot them ourselves—even if those emotions, either exaggerations or over-reactions, are a total waste.

Untying mental knots is not simple. Some get professional help. Some try self-help books. Alas, some retreat in the tangles.

I have no panacea for tangled thoughts, not now anyway. But I am confident that by constantly listening to God’s Word over the din of confusion, His grace will help me unsnarl them.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

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