3 Thoughts For Those in Relationships or Who Want To Enter One

Hung out with a few singles today and thought about my days when I was still single. I must have prayed a gazillion prayers for God to finally give me a wife. But it wasn’t just the prayers that were plentiful. I also read a billion books on relationships, courtship, dating, marriage, etc… and had a million thoughts about the topic. Here are a few thoughts that really stood out.

1. There’s no such thing as finding the “right person” during the “wrong time.”

Even if you guys click, you guys are so compatible, you guys are so perfect for each other, as long as it’s the wrong time, then it’s also the wrong person. One person wants to get married, the other wants to chill. One person wants to have kids already, the other wants to stay childless. One person wants to be friends, the other wants to be more than friends. What I’m talking about here is the “time” or “season” of each person. Whenever two people force the relationship because they think that they click, it’s recipe for disaster. Why? One person will always feel forced to enter a season that he or she does not want to be in. Note: there’s a difference between not minding to be in a season, and actually catching with the trend that season and seasons can’t be forced. I can make snow, but I can’t make winter. I can buy flowers, but I can’t make Spring.

2. Don’t buy a 2-way ticket to be with a person who is on a 1-way trip.

I’m talking about where you’re both headed. So let’s say there’s this girl. You like her, and you like being with her, but she’s heading one way and you’re headed another way. Be happy that you met at the airport, but don’t buy a 2-way ticket just so you can hang out in the airplane. This time, I’m talking about “callings”. One is called to be a pastor, the other hates the idea of being a pastor’s wife. One is decided to live in Africa, the other wants to settle down in London. One is convinced to give his life to a cause or mission, the other has no idea what his or her calling is. Forcing a relationship despite difference in calling will always cause one person to eventually buy that ticket home and bail. Why? Because Callings are linked to how a person is wired. I can convince another person to accompany me, but I can’t rewire that person’s desires. I can call on God to clarify my calling, but I can’t ask Him to change another person’s calling for me.

3. Talk about the non-negotiables before saying “I Do.”

So you’re attracted to one another and love each other, but if your non-negotiables contradict each other, I suggest you guys nip it in the bud. Why? Precisely because there’s no negotiating the non-negotiables. One believes in following Jesus, the other says there’s no God. One values absolute transparency in relationships, the other believes that there are things that should be kept secret. One believes in merging finances, the other believes in “what’s mine is mine.” Now, these are just examples of beliefs, but when the belief is non-negotiable, it becomes a “conviction”. So talk to your partner. He/ she has beliefs, for sure. But what are his/ her convictions?

In all cases, it doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship, even if you’re super in-love with each other, even if you seem perfect for each other, even if you fit the cheezy line “God must have thinking of me when He made you”. Why? Because you can’t change seasons, you can’t change callings, and you can’t change convictions. These are all from God. So when praying for a partner, stop asking God to change others or to change you. Rather, ask God to bring into your life “the one” who He has ALREADY molded just for you. Then, grow together and cherish each Season together as you both pursue your callings with convictions.

Source: FB Notes