To All The Lessons Learned in New Hit Teen Romance Film

We’ve all gone cuckoo over Lara Jean Covey with her feisty cuteness and Peter Kavinsky with his boyish charms. People are probably out writing love letters or harboring newfound love for Korean yoghurt smoothie Yakult. The world is going wild with memes, gifs, and appreciation posts and all for good reason. Beyond the kilig factor and relationship goals, freshly debuted book-to-film adaptation To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before has real life and love lessons to tell.

“They’re out. There’s nothing you can do about it.” (Lara Jean on her sent love letters)

When something happens, it happens. You’re no time bender and you can’t reverse what transpired no matter how embarrassing or unsettling, no matter how much you’re cringing at yourself inside your head. Lara Jean knew this.

Instead of wallowing in her mess of a bedroom, she mustered courage and eventually talked to the recipients of her love letters. You may not be able to undo something, but you can do something about it to make things significantly better. Don’t worry over the irreversible, rather, do something to propel yourself forward.

“We don’t have to talk about it but it’s not whatever.” (Lara Jean to Peter and his family problems)

There are things and issues we struggle with but barely speak of, and that’s okay; it’s your call whether you’d like to open up about it or not. What one must not forget though is that silence is not tantamount to absence, or nonexistence.

Don’t invalidate your feelings because you feel uncomfortable talking about them. Rather, accept the fact that you as an individual have your share of hard feelings and crises, that is not whatever.

“This is a fight I have to handle myself.” (Lara Jean on the idea of Peter confronting her bully)

Most romance films and young adult novels make us dreamy for someone by our side who is willing to fight for us. Although that is totally alright, Lara Jean reminds us that not every one of our battles should be fought by our family, friends, or significant others.

Sometimes, you have to take to the front lines and kick it – no matter how much you tremble and fear the confrontation, because some things you are meant to do yourself. In the end, this will also help you grow into a stronger, more independent individual.

“You’ve gotta tell people how you feel when you feel it.” (Josh to Lara Jean’s keep-to-herself attitude)

One profoundly relatable content in the film is Lara Jean and how she keeps feelings to herself, thus the secret love letters. This could be because of the shackles of fear or trust issues, and who wouldn’t have that?

“The more people that you let into your life, the more that can just walk right out,” she said this in an earlier scene and although this is painstakingly true, would it not be better to take that risk, express yourself, and perhaps find someone worth living life with even if it’s just for an indefinite period of time? It is a part of living, after all. People walk into your life, some will stay and some will leave; what matters is the journey you will have together and the lessons you will learn along the way.

“You gotta trust.” (Peter to Lara Jean towards the end of the film)

Life is insanely unpredictable and volatile, but that does not mean we should munch at our dwindling chocolate days on a couch, binging and Netflix-chilling all day. Learn to trust variables and uncertainties instead of cowering or running away from them.

We may have our doubts, but living is all about finding the stuff that feels like they are worth the risk.