Tips For Men On Love, Courtship and Marriage Part 2

6. Be Accountable and Counsel-able

Here is where the rubber meets the road. Be accountable. No man is an island. Have others look over you and talk to you on a regular basis. Update them with regards to your relationship with the opposite sex. While many find this intrusive but this helps really! Give the people you’re accountable to permission to speak into your life. Inform them verbally that you would appreciate it if they were honest with you, and promise them that you would listen to whatever they have to say, no matter how they say it before you react. A mark of wisdom for a man is his ability to listen to counsel. Be a godly man and be wise. Turn back on pride. Anyone who thinks he knows everything is sure to fall on a trap that will lead to devastation. Wisdom says, “the more we know, the more we admit that there is infinitely much more that we don’t know.”

On this point, please make sure that the men counseling you are mature, value-driven and morally-rooted. Choose the person whom you should be accountable to. Avoid the ones who advise otherwise.

7. Lead the Relationship

Men, lead the relationship. Lead her. Watch the movie “Fireproof”. You can’t follow your heart, you have to lead your heart and lead her. When do you start this? In courtship. Lead her when it comes to convictions like staying pure and honorable. Lead her in the area of purity and holiness while in courtship. While you lead, lead humbly as well. Don’t lead by using authority instead lead her by serving her. This would mean being a gentleman. Go the extra mile by being sensitive to her emotions in a godly way. Be extra gentle and sensitive towards her. Keep her away from danger and trouble. Discern well because should you end up together, you will lead your own family too. You protect your family too! Do self-study, read the Bible, read other books that will help you in your Christian romantic relationship.

8. Love God More Than Her

This is an addendum. I thought that this was understood and was a given for Christian men. But lately, a lot of Christians are falling in love with their partners more than they love Jesus. So I thought this point needs to be here as well. Basically, men, love Jesus more than the lady. When we love something or someone more than God, that is idolatry. When we love Jesus first and foremost and put Jesus in His rightful place in our lives and hearts, then everything else follows. I’ve seen and heard of a lot of men fall in this area. They are devout Christians who love Jesus but when they fall in love with a certain lady, they begin to shift their allegiance.

9. Laugh at Yourself

Lastly, learn to laugh at yourself. You WILL make mistakes along the way because you’re not perfect. You’re not Jesus, so it’s a guarantee that you will mess up. However, don’t take yourself too seriously as well because the fear that it will bring with it will paralyze you from doing what you’re supposed to do. Instead, learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes. Be secure and confident that God is in control as HE IS SOVEREIGN AFTER ALL.

(Last of Two Parts)