Sorrowing, yet Rejoicing

I am writing this article as a tribute to my beloved mother who recently passed away from this world, or rather, changed address from this world of suffering and sickness to another world which is one of love, perfect health, perfect joy, – a land full of light and glory, where she will be eternally youthful and beautiful and no longer aged and sick. I am writing this article not just to express the thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart but also to share to others what I have read and learned about the possibility of experiencing great sorrow but also of experiencing joy at the same time in this life.

Sorrow and death are offshoots of sin, which is the violation of God’s commandments, the disobedience to the will of God. Since Adam and Even left the Garden of Paradise, suffering and hardships became their lot and the lot of their descendants who became scattered all over the world. They had to toil and sweat to live, they had to endure suffering from other people’s sins and their own sins, and they had to die or pass away from this world. People murdering other people, unspeakable suffering from wars, plagues, diseases, natural calamities, and all other sorts of emotional and physical suffering have been the lot of human beings from the very beginning of human history up to the present age. The newspapers daily depict evil and suffering in different manners and forms. Erwin Lutzer expressed this fact accurately in the following words: “No one can fathom the amount of emotional pain borne by the inhabitants of this world in any single moment.” The Boston Bombings, 9/11 World Trade Attack, random acts of terrorism, the Rwanda massacre, the ethnic cleansing in Bosnia, the Holocaust of the Jews, the massacres decreed by Joseph Stalin, the disappearances of UP students and pro-masses people in the Philippines, victims of different crimes, the invasion of Iraq by US, and many others whether personal or collective, all show that this planet is groaning in pain and in travail from the beginning of human history up to the present.

Yet there is reason to rejoice even if we suffer in this world. My mother’s passing away from this world is a reason for great sorrow for me and my siblings, especially our youngest sibling who had been closest with our mother. It is a sorrow too great for us to bear. Yet there is a reason to rejoice because our mother must now be in heaven with my older sister and father and with her parents and siblings who have gone there ahead of her. She has run the race; she has reached the finish line. Her sufferings from having a schizophrenic daughter who became violent at a certain period in our family life, a husband who did not love her much, and her silent endurance of osteoporosis that wasted her body are all over. She has fulfilled her tasks on earth. She has given birth to seven of us, has cooked for us and taken care of us, has provided for us with her job as a grade school teacher until her early retirement, has prayed for us, and has spent all her life caring for us.

There is reason to rejoice because we who love her have the hope of seeing her and being with her again. There is reason to rejoice because she is now free from sickness and suffering in the land of glory and light, the land of perfect love, peace, and joy. Yet we are still sorrowing because we cannot visit her anymore in Calamba, Laguna, our hometown. We are in sorrow because our house will be empty without her, and we will miss her so much. I am in sorrow because I want to give her much more love than before, but I can only do this in the next life. I have the hope of loving her so much more in the next world. I rejoice in the hope that in the next life, I can be with her much more often unlike in this world when my work and marriage caused me to be apart from her since I had to migrate to Cebu City to be with my husband.

Moreover, we who have been bereaved by our loved ones can rejoice in the hope of the resurrection of the body when the perishable body will be raised imperishable, the body sown in dishonor will be raised in power, that which is sown in weakness will be raised in strength, and the natural body will be raised a spiritual body. Our imperishable bodies will no longer age, our hair strands will no longer turn white, our skin will no longer wrinkle, and our bodies will no longer get sick, get harmed, and die. Our mother has a picture when she was still young, a fresh graduate from Philippine Normal College (at that time). My youngest sister had it drawn in charcoal and had it framed. I have the hope that when I see her again in heaven, she will look young and beautiful as in her framed picture, and she will be full of light reflecting the glory of God.

Our mother’s passing away brings the reality of heaven closer home to us. Heaven is real and heaven is near. I have read many near-death experiences; I have read about what happens when we die, but the unexpected death of my beloved mother convinced me further that heaven must indeed be real because the feeling that I want to see my mother again, love her so much more and be with her so much more often necessitates the existence of a world of love. With glorified bodies, we will be able to travel swiftly and effortlessly just as Jesus could be in Galilee and then suddenly appear in Judea. I can visit her anytime I want free from the limitations of terrestrial travel.

Heaven is real and near because I feel that the tie or connection I have and my siblings have with my mother will last forever and the love and gratitude that we have for her will have no end. Such a loving connection attests that heaven is real and near because such connection is felt deeply in our hearts. Heaven is real and near because we know that in heaven, our mother continues to pray for us until our tasks on earth are done and then, she will be among the first ones to welcome us in the land where God is the light. No, I just realized that our mother is not just in heaven – our mother is in our hearts, so close to us, closer to us than when she was still living on earth. Yet, the tears still fall, the aching in our hearts remains, while faith and hope try to shoo away the depths of sorrow.

About the author: Belinda F. Espiritu is a faculty member of the University of the Philippines Cebu. She holds a Master’s degree in Comparative Literature and a PhD degree in Communication. She would like to hear from the readers about their feedback or comments on her articles through her email address: belinda.espiritu@gmail.com to set a conversation going even after her articles have been published.