How to be a Friend for Someone with Depression

14 years ago, the Philippines saw 4.5 million cases of depression as reported by the World Health Organization (WHO) – and that isn’t counting people who are silenced because of the stigma around mental health.

Based on data from the ABS-CBN Investigative and Research Group, a chilling total of 2,558 suicides were recorded in 2012. If the trends continue, the number of suicides in the nation may even flood the body count during the Martial Law, which is 3,240 as Amnesty International (AI) uncovered.

The numbers are disturbing. Yet, there are only an estimated 7 percent of hospitals with a psychiatric ward nationwide, and two mental health workers for every 100,000 people.

With depression rates rising, it is likely that you may have one or two friends with this problem, and it is likely that you do not know what to do about it.

For starters, be informed

Ignorance is one of mental health’s greatest adversities. You may know a thing or two about depression but that’s barely scratching the surface. You are still a long way from the bottom of things, and when trying to console a depressed friend, key details could go a long way.

Something as little as remarks like “stay positive” or “you’ll get over it” can make a depressed person feel worse about themselves. Although you may have good intentions behind such words, it may not translate as such – and you can’t blame your friend for that. Depression is a mental health condition after all, and sometimes your friend just cannot control how they feel.

You don’t have to take up psychology to be a good friend to someone with depression. Simply read up about your friend’s mental health problems and try to understand what they are going through.

It is notable to be extra careful about data from the Internet though; not everything posted online is dependable. Validate your sources, or ask a mental health professional for more accurate information, instead.

Be a cog in their support system

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a support system is defined as “a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support.” For a person undergoing mental health problems, a support system could make all the difference.

If you are usually the type of friend who likes using offensive jokes and playful insults, try to refrain from using such with a friend suffering from depression. Instead, be there for them gently and kindly.

Let them talk and let yourself listen. Ask questions and help them learn what they should learn. Remind them of their strengths and remind them of what laughter feels like. Give them hope and patience. Most of all, handle them with love and with grace.

Watch yourself, too

Being around someone with depression can be a bit… depressing.

Watch your moods and as much as possible, be conscious of yourself and do not let your friend unconsciously influence your train of thought. Remain level-minded.

If you find yourself being down for longer than usual, lend some time for yourself and do the things you love. Read, go out for a walk, hang out with other friends, give yourself space to rest and recharge.

Your friend’s mental health is important and so is yours.