Are You The “Rib” That Belongs To Me? (Part 2)

I hope the basics are clear. So now, let’s go to the clincher question: How will we recognize our soul mate? Remember, these are simply principles for us to keep in mind.

a. THROUGH BIBLICAL STANDARDS! This should be a no-brainer. That person must also have Christ. This person has not been divorced because of his or her unfaithfulness.

This person is not currently married. This person can marry you according to law (ie: he or she is not a minor). I think this point is quite clear already.

b. THROUGH PRAYER! Our prayer life is crucial when it comes to seeking God’s will for our future spouse. When you begin to consider a person SERIOUSLY, your prayer life ought to kick into high gear, and your prayers MUST be in accordance to Scripture. All through out the process of knowing the person, I would even suggest that you pray and ask God remove the person or affections from your heart if he or she is not the one for you, at the same time, ask God to knit your hearts if he or she is the one for you. Please avoid asking God to “give the person to you” or “make that person your soul mate” because God has already ordained all things before the world was created. These kinds of prayers go against God’s sovereignty and are emotional prayers.

c. THROUGH EVENTS! Note that I did not say “signs” because those two are very different. When a person asks for a “sign”, that person simply lacks faith. If we look at Scripture, EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE that a person asks for a sign shows that person’s lack of faith. Yes, God MAY be gracious, but that’s not an excuse for us to lack faith. So what is the difference? EVENTS testify to God’s faithfulness, SIGNS testify to man’s lack of faith. For example, how did Moses know that it was God’s will to free the Israelites? Well, God told Moses the things that would happen, very specific things (such as the plagues and how Pharaoh would harden his heart) and it all came to pass. Every time Moses witnessed EVENTS that went EXACTLY as God had said, it was a CONFIRMATION of what God had ALREADY TOLD MOSES: that God’s will was INDEED to free His people!

Remember, the events happened AFTER God had spoken. There is a crucial difference. Most of the time, people REACT to events and take them as “signs” from God. That’s wrong. Rather, we should first pray and commune with God, so that when events happen, we RESPOND to God.

Let me give a more personal example:

When I was still getting to know Raynie, my prayer life was in overdrive! One time, the whole group of friends were going to meet in Don Henricos in Ayala. I prayed and fervently asked God that if it is His will for me to get to know Raynie more, that He would do something to give me some exclusive time with Raynie. That night, everyone else came late because of “sudden things that came up” and we were forced to start having dinner together. Note that my prayer was not “if she wass my soul mate” but rather “if it’s God’s will for me to get to know her more.”

But if we hit the rewind button again, we’ll go back to prayers months before this event. I’ve had my eye on her for quite some time and I was vehemently praying to God for His will to be done. I also asked God if she was someone I should truly get to know more. On that day, my Bible reading was how Boaz had his eye on Ruth but kept his distance until the last chapter. Boaz got to know Ruth’s character without getting emotionally involved. That was what I did.

Now let’s hit the rewind button one more time:

This is about a year before I met Raynie. I was talking to my accountability group and told them that I just felt and believed that God would let me see the growth of my future wife’s faith all the way from Victory Weekend (a church retreat). The first time I met Raynie was in Victory Weekend a year after that conversation with them. I completely forgot about that conversation and only remembered it shortly before I laid down my intentions to her.

Note that these were event after event after event that all happened AFTER prayer with God, and were direct confirmations of what God has already spoken. If you would ask me to enumerate the events that confirm my prayers to God and also HER prayers to God, I would need to make a series for this blog! Countless events from both our sides and our prayers have confirmed what God had already told us through SCRIPTURE.

d. THROUGH HONEST INTENTIONS! Another way to find out is to ask yourself your intentions. WHY do you want or are interested in this person? Here’s how I would normally answer it: Picture 2 columns in your mind. On the left column is a list of all traits you currently like about her. It could include characteristics, and features, and etc. Beneath that column are your REASONS for why you like those traits. A good example would be “rich”, so that I won’t have to work too hard anymore” or “sexy”, so that I would always enjoy pleasure with her” or “pretty”, so that everyone will think highly of me for getting such a pretty wife”, then we go to the other column. The other column ought to be a list of traits and characters that you would need her to have so that she could help you become more Christ-like. Examples: “prayerful”, because I don’t pray as much” or “is inquisitive about the Bible, so that I will be challenged to study the Scriptures more so that I can lead her spiritually as the leader of my family” or “patient, so that she could always remind me of how I seem to lack that particular fruit of the Spirit.” Which do you think would be the better column?

e. THROUGH COUNSELING! Of course, we need counseling. We need to ask the advice and opinions and insights of people who we recognize as mature, spiritual, godly, and genuinely love us. It is in this particular area that I could not overemphasize, is Acts 17:11:,  because there will be times wherein you will receive “spiritual-sounding yet unbiblical” advice. There will also be times wherein you will get teased or get advice that is biased because the person cares more about the giddy feelings than your heart, and remember, even church leaders and pastors can be wrong. In the end, it’s between YOU AND GOD AND THE GIRL or GUY. Do NOT let others make the decision for you. When I sought advice from many people about Raynie, I got a plethora of advice! There were some really good godly advices and insights, and there were also some strange advice. Again, Acts 17:11., please!

These are the top 5 ways (as far as I can tell) help us confirm and recognize our soul mate in life. Again, I’m no expert. I’m just basing my thoughts and forming my convictions from what I see in Scripture and from the principles and standards that I see in Scripture. If you have thoughts on the topic, I’d be grateful if you would share them, but really, this blog was meant to address a concern of several of my friends and not some sort of doctrinal thing that I wanted to create.

I actually have more blogs on this subject and you can find them in the next issues of my articles which are also blogsite’s homepage. Other than that, the rest are really found in the Bible.