Are You The “Rib” That Belongs To Me?

One of my friends who read this blog told me that the title sounded more like a Christian “pick up line” and that really made my day. But as cheesy as it sounds, I would like to believe that it does deserve a second thought. Many Christians today struggle with the whole concept of the soul mate and the whole dating game. They ask, “If God has a soul mate for me, then how do I recognize him or her? Well, since I have no means to answer that question, it would be so much easier to believe that God has given me the freedom to choose my partner, wouldn’t it?”

So for those who believe that God has (in His sovereignty) created their lives and every area of it, here’s a blog that may help… I do not claim to be an expert. I’m no “love doctor”, and I’m definitely not some kind of a relationship guru. However, I’ve read dozens of books on this topic, books that seek the Scriptures for principles about it. So here goes:

First, we have to find out what a soul mate is not. When we clear out the misconceptions, it would be so much easier to follow through with the principles. So, what a soul mate is not:

a. A lot of people think that a soul mate is some kind of PERFECT PERSON and that he or she is the most romantic, most dreamy, most charming amazing person. That is not a soul mate, that’s a fantasy.

b. A soul mate is also not someone who is “exactly my type” in the sense that he or she will feed all of my desires and wants and longings in life.

Lastly, a soul mate is not the one that will “complete you” as Jerry M. so passionately said.

So then, what is a soul mate?

a. Your soul mate is the person whom God created to use the most, to make you more like Christ. You see, marriage is more than a contract, an agreement, or a bond. Marriage is either the primary or one of the most important tools God uses to sanctify us and make us more like Christ. For example, the Bible tells us men to love our wives as Christ loved the Church. The Bible tells the ladies to “submit to their husbands” in humble obedience. If you really think about it, both refer to the carrying of the cross!

b. Your soul mate is the person who will end up “exposing the worst in you”, and then “bring out the Christ in you”. Many times, people think that their soul mate is the person who will affirm them completely. Wrong! The soul mate is supposed to love them completely and accept them unconditionally, while holding them firmly to the standards of scripture as they live their lives together as a couple.

c. If you are married, that person is your soul mate. Period! If you are married, never entertain the thought that perhaps your spouse is not your soul mate and that your soul mate is out there somewhere waiting for you. And if you are single, your soul mate is ALSO currently single! PERIOD! Never consider a married person to be your possible soul mate! (Part 2 In Next Article)

(I’ll discuss the issue of divorce and remarriage later on if someone asks)