A Suicide Note

This is neither the one that Robin Williams wrote nor the one published online concerning that guy who jumped off a building in Cebu last week.

Definitely, this is not my suicide note. This one, in fact, is a note that hopes to remind readers that they should take another closer look at suicide before saying that those who took their lives were coward and selfish. Remember that except God, no argument can deny the basic human right to take care of one’s life and to end it.

Those who say that suicide is an act of cowardice and selfishness do not only insult the dead but also reveal their blatant ignorance on the ways of the world.

In almost all times and spaces, suicide happens. Why? Who’s vulnerable? How do we respond to it? These questions we hope to answer.

Though it is often hard to discover the real reason for a person’s suicide but researches confirmed that most people who die by suicide actually have mental disorders of varying sorts and levels that were left unrecognized and untreated at the time of their death. From schizophrenia and manic depression to bipolar disorder and substance abuse, psychological problems that continually haunt people let their inner demons come out in the form of suicide attempts.

Generally, however, those who contemplate suicide usually hide it within themselves and master theatrical arts. They perfectly know how to wear a happy mask to conceal the reality of a sad face. Now, should we still be shocked of Robin Williams’ choice of freedom?

Comedians are just a minute fraction of the population at risk.

Psychiatrists have proven that anyone who has a sense of intolerable psycho-emotional pain, feeling of isolation, overwhelming negative emotions: guilt, shame, fear and anger, among others, and a belief that death is the only solution, may have the inclination to self-destroy.

Hence, suicide as product of an impulsive behavior is purely a myth, because even the Pope himself resigned at passing judgments on people, what we can only do is to help prevent people from succumbing to suicide.

Even if psychologists discourage the use of ‘You will only hurt your family.’ ‘Look at the brighter side,’ and ‘We will fix your problem,’ there is still something that we can do to help people not to give in to the irresistible charm of eternal oblivion and respite.

Of course, we will always give it to the professionals but as ordinary people, there is something we can do for a family member or a friend who might be contemplating suicide.

First, we should always be vigilant and sensitive. If somebody asks for a time to talk, then we should not say ‘Sunod na lang, pag naay time.’ This statement is essentially seated at the summit of our self-centeredness. Let us share our time if we truly care. No training in Psychology or Guidance and Counseling is needed here.

If somebody talks about suicide, death and no hope for the future, and if someone expresses worthlessness, makes a will, isolates himself and bids goodbye in an unusual manner, should we just ignore him and pretend that it is just a whim for attention? Experts say NO because these are clear warning signs.

If he becomes moody and his personality changed drastically (from well-mannered to defiant or vice-versa), including physical manifestations (appearance and eating/ sleeping habits), then this guy needs help. We have to take him seriously because it is his silent cry for help.

Ah, how numb can we be! There are guideposts in talking to a suicidal person, but the key here is neither confidentiality nor responsibility but sincerity. If we truly care about and for the person, then the rest will follow.

Even if people with suicidal tendencies do not ask for help and do not show their real sentiments and experiences, our basic human trait to help one another and to protect humanity compel us to examine closely our understanding of suicide and to equip fully ourselves with what it takes to deal with people vulnerable to this emerging epidemic.

Surely, prevention is better than cure. For certain, prevention begins with education. Let us be more aware and stop cursing those who took their lives. Let ‘Go to hell’ be an expression of the misinformed or less-informed, especially on suicide. Let us be more educated, responsive and caring. Let us be more humane and human.

It is said that when we openly talk about death, then we will not be afraid of it. Just the same, when we bring up the subject on suicide, then we are truly trying to save a life. Edwin A. Robinson, in his immortal poem, would be surely better than I am in concluding this suicide note.

RICHARD CORY
by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.