5 Questions You Don’t Ask from Your Transgender Friends

With the rising call about the offenses committed against the ‘Ts’, and with the brewing sectoral call from LGBT Community, here are some shared advice from experts in order for you to avoid saying or asking the wrong thing, offend anyone or hurt feelings.

1. Don’t ask if they’re “a boy or a girl.”

If you are unsure about someone’s gender identity or unsure of what pronouns someone is using, you can ask them.

Expert said a nice way phrase it is: ‘which pronoun do you prefer?’ And they’ll tell you. They added that if they are not identified on the gender binary — their preferred pronoun could be “they.”

Experts said its important not to make assumptions about sexuality: There are trans people who are LGB, there are trans women who are lesbians, and there are trans men who are gay.

Don’t assume that because someone is transgender that they are attracted to someone of their opposite gender, that’s not necessarily true, they said.

2. Don’t ask “what’s going on in your pants?”

Expert said that its natural to be curious, but that doesn’t mean you should ask.

“After all, nobody is coming up to you and asking you about your genitalia. “As a common sense and common courtesy, we don’t go around asking people about their private parts,” Expert says.

“You don’t ask me, I don’t ask you. Just because a person is trans doesn’t mean that you can ask them.”

Expert had it right: “They are person. They’re still human being and they’re still a person that lives by the same etiquette standards that we all do, you don’t just ask a person about their genitals. It’s just rude. Don’t do it.”

3. Don’t Freak out about the bathroom issue.

Experts said Trans people face the same social stigma surrounding bathrooms and locker rooms that gay, lesbian and bisexual people do.

They said people should not believe the hype. “Trans women are not in the ladies rooms to do anything malicious, they’re using the ladies rooms for the same thing everyone else does.
They do their business and get out.”

Trans men are just going to the bathroom to take care of their business and leave. It’s really just that simple, experts said.

It’s a safety issue for the trans person in question. I’m not going to walk into the ladies room and get accosted by security because someone doesn’t think that I deserve to use the men’s room. Trans people, we’re not like special unicorns. We’re not going to do anything magical or weird or anything, we’re just everyday people trying to do everyday stuff.” So relax.

4. Don’t Out a transgender person.

Experts said this is a big problem. “Not only is it not your place to share someone’s trans identity, but you could be putting them in danger.

“You don’t know, there’s lots of trans people who can be very low or no disclosure, and they can choose who to disclose to at their own discretion,”

They said that its no one’s place to do that for them. It may also put people’s safety in jeopardy, put their jobs in jeopardy or their relationships.

“You don’t know what people’s stories are, so it’s important not to out people or tell other people that a person is trans.”

5. Don’t ask them about any future medical or transitional plans.

There are many different options for a trans person’s transition, whether that means hormones, surgeries, or nothing at all, expert said.

“If someone’s on medications or if someone’s had surgery, that’s someone’s basic, private medical history. That’s not my business,” expert said.

“But it depends on the individual and the context of the conversation. If someone wants to talk about surgeries or hormones they can, but I don’t think it’s a place that anyone should initiate.”

Source: www.mtv.com

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