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Tips For the Single Ladies

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This note is in response to the blog that was shared by a friend of mine (Jenny Murillo) about ladies. I just have some random thoughts for the single ladies, from an average guy, on keeping a good relationship with their significant others. Here they are:

1. Honesty

I have to agree with the blog. Honesty is the best policy especially when it comes to dating and courtship. Sad to say, a lot of girls like to play the game. They try doing the mental shuffle over and over again, saying the things they don’t mean to guys that they DO like, in the hopes that the guy gets what they really DO mean despite saying the things that they DON’T mean in the guise of NOT being too easy to get. This is the scenario, while while their guy has already lost in translation. Personally, I’m the no-nonsense type of guy when it comes to relationships. When I told my wife how I felt about her, she already felt the same way about me. Some people advised her to let me wait for a week, and sort of play the “catch me if you can game” so that she won’t seem too easy. What she did NOT know was that IF she had played that “game” with me, I would have automatically been turned off and have walked away. I don’t know about you, but the average guy does NOT like being lied to, manipulated, and played for a fool. Would you rather the guy you like actually gets you (even if it seemed too easy) or would you rather that the guy thought it better for himself to get away from you because you were dishonest? No good and decent man (and i say MAN, not boy) appreciates a dishonest woman.

 2. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Most ladies when in the courtship dating stage, usually develop a liking to telepaths. This means, they say things when they actually mean the opposite, and they want the guy to read their mind. Mind you, only Professor X and Dr. Hamilton can do that! The former is bald and paralyzed, and leads a bunch of mutants while the latter is an evil villain who wants to rule the world! Ladies, we are not mind readers! I know, women feel more connected and loved and get all mushy when the guy actually reads their minds OCCASIONALLY. However, don’t expect him to be a psychic for you all the time. This leads to MASSIVE stress and the inevitable break up. Ladies, when you say “he doesn’t understand me”, ask yourself this: Are you being understandable? With us guys, we do the best we can to please our ladies (c’mon, it makes us happy and proud to be able to please our women because that’s what a REAL MAN is!), but please, give us some slack!

 3. Don’t Stress Over Words

This is in connection to # 2. We guys say what we mean and mean what we say. When we say “I wanna be friends”, then that’s what we mean. Most girls think, “Oh, he wanna be friends with me, so he really wants to get to know me!” Worst thing, they hear it from their GIRLFRIENDS and not directly from the guy. Check the source of your info, ladies. Get it straight from the guys. And as guys, we know how to make a point. If we like you, you’ll know. Trust me, you’ll know. Why? It’s because we will make sure to be clear about it and if there’s a guy who is NOT CLEAR about his intentions for you, he is not worth your time. You better off give time only to the man who does not lead your heart astray! If he does one thing and yet says another, he is no less than a manipulator, a wimp and a coward and he does not deserve you. Don’t be fooled if the guy you like (even as charming as Matthew Mcconaughy or good-looking as Tom Cruise), if his attitude is equally comparable to  Quasimodo, he is no good. So take us at our words, at face value. Don’t over analyze our intentions.

 4. Be His Eye Candy

I can’t over stress this enough. Men are visual. We are sooooo visual. We are soooo very visual. We are as visual as visual gets. Our visual-ness is 20 over 10. Get the point? Now, I’m NOT saying that looks are everything.The Bible says that your inner beauty and character is your number one priority and I agree with that but at the same time, your outer beauty is also a HUGE GIGANTIC VERY BIG SO IMPORTANT EXTREMELY ESSENTIAL factor as well. And let’s just be practical about this. Do you yourself want a man who is unkempt, dirty, unpresentable, and someone you would not want people to associate you with because of how he looks? Of course not! Ladies are visual too. I’ve met a dozen ladies who literally went gaga when they saw Daniel Henney in “Seducing Mr. Perfect” (which is actually a comedy film despite the title). As a married man, I love it when my wife makes sure that she’s groomed up—being my eye candy. I stare at her all the time and guess what? She likes it too! The more she does this, the more I enjoy buying her clothes (and what woman does not enjoy being given clothes from the guy who loves her? right? raaaaiiiiiight?) So yes, I’m talking about investing. Invest in nice clothes. Invest in beauty products, in make up. If you think it’s unfair, it’s not. Guys invest in products as well to look good for their woman. You don’t believe me? Talk to my wife. I do what I can to look good for my wife’s eyes.

 5. Don’t Try To Change Him, Or Let Him Change You

You’re not God. You’re not the Holy Spirit. You’re not Jesus. So please don’t try to be. Trying to change a man to suite you is a recipe for heartache, similarly changing to become the person he wants is like the appetizer for one ‘heartache recipe’. It’s going to end BAD! When either of you tries to change for the other person, there is no sincerity in that relationship. There’s nothing genuine anymore. Your relationship will be based on pressure and an overarching FEAR of failing your partners expectations. Eventually, one is going to get tired, or both, pretending.

 6. Don’t Compete

Sometimes, girls find themselves in a situation wherein the man she likes has in his circle of friends a vixen! No, she’s not actually a vixen. She’s actually nice, friendly, sweet, pretty, warm, and just happens to be close to the guy. No wonder your eyes drool on her considering her an antagonist in your quest. However, if this were a romantic comedy, you would most likely end up meeting her and really getting close to her, finding out that she’s not that bad after all. In fact, you are won over by her friendliness and you start thinking that it’s probably going to be better if ‘the guy’ and she end up together because they are perfect for each other. Then, you start to pull the high card and say that if you really love him, you’ll set him free and want him to be happy with the lady. This is just a possible comic film I imagine to concoct, but in reality  that’s really not the case, isn’t it? Most of the time, girls really do compete with girls. Everyone wants to be prettier, cuter, sexier, more liked, more better friends. THIS IS familiar especially when a cutie hunk is up for a prize. The tip is really good–don’t compete. Don’t let insecurity (which is the reason in most cases) overpower you.. Don’t feel so threatened that the guy you like  seems to ‘fish on the side of the boat’. In the first hand, you’re not hitched yet nor in a boyfriend-girlfriend mode so he still has the right to fancy with other girls. Or perhaps the reason why he’s not moving any move with you is because you’re not making yourself available to the guy. So again, do NOT compete. This will just sadly turn him off and believe me, a guy can sense if there is a competition among the ladies around him, and you don’t want your man’s head to “go large”.

7. Make Yourself Available!

Many girls, especially Philippine-culture-influenced-girls, are very shy. When guys ask them out, they turn them down by saying no. When guys ask them out with friends, they still decline. Or, they cling to their lady friends. Please, this is not role playing and we are not playing charades so stop pretending to be a car clamp! Ladies, if you want a guy to pursue you, be available. When you cling to other girls, you immobilize yourself and you make the other girls unavailable too. I see this all the time in church culture, even outside the sphere. Single men and women go out to watch a movie. All the girls suddenly flock together and form an impenetrable shield that not even Superman and the Incredible Hulk could get through. They just cling to each other and some girls even announce “Okaaay, all the girls here, all the guys there!” Ugh… If you ladies want to be found by your ‘Adam’, then don’t allow other females to swarm around you to make you unavailable. For all you know, your crush just might end up sitting right beside you while watching the movie, and share popcorn with you. And if you’re watching a guy flick like Transformers 3, he just might even whisper in your ear something like “You know, before Optimus Prime became a Prime, his name was Orion Pax.” Yes, you won’t REALLY appreciate the factoid about the robot that becomes a red 10-wheeler, but you WILL appreciate the thought that YOUR CRUSH WANTS YOU TO KNOW WHAT HE KNOWS. And when that happens, we go to number 8.

 8. Flirt

Ladies, here’s a tip: When a guy likes you, he’ll do something special for you or will treat you nicely. So if you like him, APPRECIATE HIM. One of the BEST ways to do this is to do “friendly flirting.” Yes, you read it right. Flirting. Is this even in the Bible? YES it is! Is this Biblical? YES it is! I did a seminar on this with a friend of mine, John Kherli, and one of my topics was “How to flirt.” I’m not talking about  seduction, ii’m saying “FRIENDLY flirting.” Tap him on the knee and say thanks when he gets water for you. Smile at him and quickly look away when he smiles at you. Play with your hair. (No, don’t whip your hair like a shampoo commercial model, just twiddle a few strands with your fingers. Trust me, it DOES work on guys. Or you could do the cliche move of tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear.) These non-verbal gestures could actually make or break your dating and romance, and can save you both a lot of heart ache, even spicing things up. If you have more questions on this one, please feel free to write a comment.

 9. Tell Him What You Want (what you really really want)

Yes, i just quoted the spice girls… because in this area, they make sense. When dating, you should tell him what you want, like, don’t want, don’t like, etc. Most girls are shy in this. When guys ask “What would you like for dinner?”, girls say “I don’t know. It’s up to you.” And then he buys something exotic for you like steamed sea urchins perhaps because he’s up to wanting you try something with “culture” written all over it. Yes, you’re all for culture and being a “citizen of the world” but right now, you’re just not in the mood. So what happens? You won’t appreciate him, and in return he won’t feel appreciated. What happened was just you spoiled the mood for you both. So to be both safe and fun, just tell him what you want. If you want “Siomai sa Tisa” then tell him! “What if he won’t like it or he thinks that I’m too cheap?” Random thoughts come into your mind? Don’t worry about it and just be honest. For all you know, he will appreciate the fact that you’re not an expensive date and hopefully you won’t be an expensive wife. Or for all you know, he’ll find your candid and adventurous taste refreshing? So just be honest and tell him what you want, or don’t want, or like, or don’t like. If you and your guy won’t hit it off and click on some areas, don’t stress over it. They are usually not deal breakers in a relationship anyway.

10. Let Him Lead The Relationship

On this point, I can’t overstress my point. The man is called to lead the relationship. The woman is called to submit. So please let him lead! For a man, nothing is more rewarding than to have a lovely and supportive woman behind him. It fills us with so much joy and gratefulness. Watch superhero movies and you’ll see that a woman is always behind the superhero, cheering for him and being there for him. Superman has Lois Lane, The Hulk has Betty, Ironman has Miss Potts, and Batman has Robin. Whoops, that last one was a joke. Batman’s different since he he-s different-minded and is not called the “DARK” knight for nothing. But you get the point. For all of you feminists out there who are fighting for equality, guess what? We’re all equal already. We just have different roles. We men can’t give birth and you ladies can’t impregnate other women. We were CREATED by GOD to fulfill different roles and it is when you fulfill your role that you will find the most joy. As I lead my wife, I am filled with so much awe and joy and gratefulness. I am humbled and inspired. I am just so very happy when I think about how supportive and loving she is to me. In the words of Spiderman about Mary Jane, “She makes me feel weak and strong at the same time”. It’s true. There are times when my wife makes me feel like I can’t do anything without her and I can do anything if I’m with her. So ladies, let the man lead the relationship. You can help him be stirring him in the right directions sometimes, but do it in a way that lets him exercise his leadership. One example before I end. Instead of saying “Hey, we’ve been together for a month. When are we getting married?!” Try asking “Honey, you know I love you and I just want you to know that iIll always support you in whatever God calls you to do. I just want to know where you see our relationship heading?” If you say that, the guy will feel like you are such a good catch and if he wants to keep you forever, a ring offered on bended knee would be the best way to ensure that!

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Childhood Obesity: Chubby Is Not Equal To Healthy

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Cute is a word most likely used to describe chubby kids, but being chubby may not be cute after all as these kids may actually be among those having childhood obesity without their parents realizing it. Unfortunately, “obese” may sometimes be mistaken as “healthy” as some parents may have the idea that a visibly fat child is a healthy child.

Childhood obesity is believed to be on the rise and this problem is certainly becoming a fat one.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that the number of overweight children under age five in 2010 is 42 million with 35 million found in developing countries. Obese children may likely remain obese as adults and will likely develop health problems like diabetes and cardiovascular diseases at a younger age according to the WHO.

But childhood obesity can be preventable, and prevention should start even when the child is still in the mother’s womb. The New England Journal of Medicine cites excessive maternal weight gain, smoking during pregnancy and shorter-than-recommended duration of breastfeeding as some factors associated with increased risk for obesity in infancy and early childhood.

During the infancy stage, less-than-12-hours sleep duration is also a factor. As the child grows, other factors come in. Foods high in fat and sugars but low in vitamins, minerals and micronutrients are widely available and provide a temptation that is hard to resist among children. With these foods around, unhealthy eating habits tend to occur. Add to this is the increasing trend towards lesser physical activity with increased TV hours and with playing time confined to a seat with the entry of video and computer games as well as increased urbanization.

Ask a child about their favorite snack and fruits are rarely mentioned. Try asking a child today about street games like “buwan-buwan”, “siatong” or, “tubig-tubig” and chances are, nobody is playing those games nowadays. Instead of spotting kids running on the streets, you will find toddlers to adolescents making their avatars run for them in “Temple Run” or “DOTA”.

It’s not just the children’s behavior that is to blame but the parents too. Some parents are actually contributing to the problem of obesity in their own children as they spoil their child with food and lots of it. “The idea that a big baby is a healthy baby, and a crying baby is probably a hungry baby who should be fed, are things we really need to rethink,” Dr. Leann Birch, director of the Childhood Obesity Research Center in Penn State said.

With many Filipinos working abroad, it is possible that there are also some parents who may make up for their physical presence by allowing a child to watch plenty of TV, or play video and computer games. Many parents become so busy at work that they often find less time with their kids, time which could have been spent for having family walks, biking, jogging and other physical activities.

The prevention of childhood obesity should be a multisectoral effort that should start within a family and should include schools, civil society and the private sector. Parents are very important for prevention to be successful. Early in life, mothers should breastfeed their children. They should promote healthy diets by making healthy foods and beverages available in their homes. The intake of fruits and vegetables should be encouraged. Healthy school snacks should also be served to children instead of packaged snacks. Having family meals together is also encouraged.

Parents should also promote a healthy lifestyle by acting as models to their children encouraging their children to engage in sports or perhaps do physical activities together. Television and computer time should be reduced.

Next to parents, the school plays an important role to reduce childhood obesity. Health education promoting healthy behaviors and creating a healthy school environment should be integrated. School canteens should offer healthy choices too. School gardens can be used as a tool to increase awareness about food origins and nutrition. Sports and fitness programs should be activated. Physical activity should be encouraged among teachers, parents, students and the entire community.

With these combined efforts, it is the hope that this childhood obesity epidemic will be put to a stop.

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My Contribution to Make Philippines a Better Place

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Everyday is an opportunity to learn. To keep myself abreast with new updates in the industry and how to change outlook from being purely an insurance agent or salesperson to being a very effective Financial Consultant: I am to broaden my knowledge and improve my skills. I have to improve myself and be a cut above the rest- not to be a sub-par agent. One who effectively assesses the financial needs of my clients and finds out what they have done and what more they can do to improve the handling of their finances, and most importantly, to remind them of why they worked so hard and thus, guide them to set their priorities right.

My role therefore, is not just to sell any product, but to make them see the value of their human capital-their ability to provide and create what they wanted for their families to have such as to build the house they dreamed of, send their kids to the best schools, go to their dream vacations, do civic activities and give contributions. They all can achieve their goals, be financially secured for as long as they can and work hard.

We the working men and women have to put much value of our life’s potential. With this we have to consider the risk that surrounds us. What are these risks? The uncertainties of what lies ahead us. Uncertainties such as diagnosis of critical illnesses, disability, and untimely death, we don’t like this to happen but if it does, it would greatly affect our ability to work- our income potential and therefore, would be a hindrance to the realization of the goals that we have set or the dreams we aspire for our loved ones. What do our clients have if such events happen? How much do they have? Would it be enough? What do you have? Is it enough? This is where I can give the solutions for it. I am their friend and their Financial Consultant. I will make them see the need, provide them the solutions and make them act upon it. I am therefore not a salesman. I will, at the best of my abilities, create the money my client’s family needs – to unload them of the possible financial burden that they should not experience. We all deserve the best in life. We all are provided with what we need. We have the best resources, the ability to work. And it is our responsibility to be good stewards of these blessings. How well we manage our finances today determines the kind of life we (given the time) and our loved ones will live. Would we allow putting our hard work not have a pay off? Would we just play today and pay it later? What does our client want to be, what do you want to be: A blessing or a burden? What we do today will determine it.

This is my mission. Given this position, I take it my responsibility to let my clients see, feel and act on the best solutions I can give. A contribution we all can take part in changing and making our country a better place not just for our generation, but for the next generations to come.

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“Disconnect to Connect”

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(I read that phrase somewhere in Facebook and thought of it as an appropriate title.)

My two-month old S4 suddenly went berserk. It would turn off in the middle of my Facebook stalking, disturbing my guilty pleasure three times that night. The next day, my boyfriend and I went to Ayala. He would always drop by Data Blitz to check on or buy a game for his 3DS; I didn’t mind because it would give me time to peek through my FB notifications and do mass check ins on Foursquare.

While I was happily doing these, my phone did it again. This time, it would turn off and back on repeatedly. Panicking, I carried my phone like a baby having an asthma attack as we rushed to find the nearest seat. I removed my phone’s battery to save it from further torture. (Pardon me if I sound like an obsessed little girl but I can get really crazy with anything I fancy.)

We then went to Smart to get that certificate that says I’m subscribed to their post-paid plan, and finally to the Samsung shop at Ayala’s New Wing. Being new, this branch was less crowded, we didn’t need a priority number to be assisted. (When this gets published and people discover its existence (whichever comes first, haha) I still hope I wouldn’t be needing a priority number. (Impossible)

The technician told me to back up all my files as my phone may need to be reformatted. Gladly, it still turned on; I hurriedly transferred all my selfies and food photos from my internal memory to my SD card. With a stroke of luck, I was able to do all of these before my phone turned off again.

When we came back to the shop after a wait time of 2-3 hours, we found out that it was only a battery problem which can be fixed by (of course) battery replacement. Because they had to order the battery from Manila (I think), this meant having a dead phone for 7-10 business days. I thought of all the photos I would not be able to take during this hiatus so I decided to buy an extra battery. (Me and my irrational passion for capturing daily memories.)

The technician told me that the reason why my phone kept auto-restarting was overcharging. Yes, I admit to have overcharged it . . . almost everyday. Aside from overnight charging, I also charge my phone while using it. Here are the things that the tech told me to do to avoid this from happening in the future:

1. Turn off the phone (or do not use it) while charging.

2. Do not overcharge it.

3. Once a month, ‘overcharge’ it a little by unplugging it ten minutes after it says battery full. This prolongs battery life. (He used a term to describe this method. With my goldfish memory, I could not remember the exact word. When I downloaded Battery Doctor, I figured it was called ‘trickle stage‘.)

4. Charge the phone when it says battery low (duh). Do not wait for it to be drained completely.

Well these are just basic stuff which I, unfortunately, did not follow.

I am not sure if what the tech said were 100% true and accurate. I learned my lesson though and by following what he said, had more time for things I have not paid attention to before. Now that I have to wait for about two hours for my phone to be fully charged, I already have time to talk to my siblings, do some cleaning or even the laundry, and prepare for the next day at work.

I remember this post that I wrote a few months ago: Nowadays, many people are “participating” more in social networks than in real life. With these sites being accessible anytime and anywhere, everyone is just glued to their smartphone, iPod, iPad or whatever, often forgetting that there’s a person beside them they can have an actual conversation with.

Turning off my phone for about two hours a day has indeed taught me that there’s more to life than my 5″ Full HD Super AMOLED display.

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Sa Tuig 2018, Sugaton Ta Ang Mga Iro

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Tik, tak, tik, tak…2018  nagsingabot na…

ang taknaan nagpangatagak,

may mga saad nga namulak,

may nabahaw ug napan-os,

mga pasalig nga napaltos,

luyahong minuto ug segundo,

miagunto, gikusokuso,

tuig 2017  nagkaawop na,

nagkalanay sa atong mga mata,

tuig sa mga nagtuktugaok nga manok,

mga hinayon, mga  mahilig magminanok,

pag-ilaid sa mga damgong napulak gitagamtam,

nagpasad sa atong pagpadulong sa unahan..

 

tik, tak, tik, tak…

maampingong nangandam, ang iro, alang sa 2018,

kakugihan niyang mamaghot, tataw’ng may gipaabot,

bag-ong  panaad gipangladlad,

sa kasingkasing gibukhad,

pagkamabinantayon hingosgan,

pakiglambigit sa kinabag-an,

paghinultol sa buluhaton,

kakugi, kahibalo’g kamadasigön,

itanom, atong  bugtawön….

 

tik,tak, tik, tak…

sa atong kamot,

sa atong paningkamot,

mautingkay ang nagpaabot,

sa atong pagbuot,

mahimong maharuhay ug maalimuot,

ang gipangandaman tang  umaabot…

 

sa tuig 2018,

tubagon ta ang mga pangutanang nagpaabot

iladlad  ta ang agianang gipanglukot

hala pasudlon ta ang mga iro, panid-an ta ang muabot….

tik, tak, tik,tak…

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